I've been thinking...

I should be finishing my assignments but I've been thinking, which is kind of ironic, considering what I'm about to say.

Time gives you thought (although too much of it is a hell of a lot worse), in that thinking you come to some kind of conclusion, it's a sort of personal knowledge for some. In that knowledge and thought, we have too much. We know too much, beneath our skin, in our brains; behind everything we see, everything we don't, it's in things we hear and don't; the implied and explicit. Within everything of our lives we know more than we'd like to believe. Some people embrace it, some people would prefer not to.

For all we hurt, it's knowledge that hurts. Ignorance is bliss and it's not that it's the best thing, but thinking and knowing is what hurts. For all we think about the world and why we're here, the thoughts scare us. Maybe it's best not to know why? Maybe it's best not to have answers? The most intelligent and knowing people, in my eyes, must be cursed. Just think, to have answers in your mind must kill you. To know the sinister and to know the great but to know that one outweighs the other, when you know the bare truth? That must be the biggest drain on you.

I wish I didn't think so much, then I wouldn't care so much and I probably wouldn't have had half of the hurt I've felt in my life. I probably wouldn't have been so worried about things, I'd probably see life and our existance as some kind of Utopia. Sometimes I hate the things I think, it leads to me searching, discovering, knowing and understanding.

I don't have enough time for all this thought. I don't always want to understand the things that happen or the things that just are. Understanding the bad, and even the good can lead to negative emotions, like guilt and sadness, then wondering why things can't all be equal, why everyone and everything can't be good or positive. Yet I know, and understand it can't be, not for our society to function.

Do you understand? I wish I didn't.